My Life With Depression - Twitterverse Remix

Hello, my Lovelies!

The fact that I suffer from depression is the worst kept secret ever. I hid it at first because, you know, trying to start a writing career, I didn't want someone to look at me like I was a nut case. I slowly left that thinking behind me. It took some time, meds for a hot minute, and therapy for me to understand that I've been clinically depressed for over 32 years. On a recent trip home to St. Louis (enjoyed it immensely!), I had a discussion with my mom, brother, sis-in-law, step dad and cousin that made me realize where the depression stemmed from and how it started. I won't go into that, but I really felt connected to my family more than I had in my nearly 50 years on Planet Stinkyball Earth. Things that are said or done early in life have a great impact on you later in life without you even realizing it.

So I came back to Georgia and set about writing the book that I will read at DragonCon on Friday, September 4th (date change). However, on August 7, a Twitter hashtag campaign called #TheWorstThingAboutDepressionIs started, and I remember my heart stopping when I saw it. I can speak about my personal experience with it, but reading the tweets of others really put things into perspective for me.  You're like, "yeah...I feel just like that." It's not even about how you feel mentally, but it takes you down with physical aches, pains, headaches, and feeling run down. Without even thinking about it, I began tweeting. It was one of the most therapeutic things I've done outside of therapy. I felt so connected to people who could see through the energetic smile, bubbly personality, and affable (stop laughing) image that I was projecting and could see the horribly broken person that I truly am. It was mind blowing, and I showed my battle scars without limits. You see, those who don't suffer from depression have a difficult time dealing with those who do. We're looked at as "what do you have to be depressed about?" "Just smile and be happy." Then you get those who are tired of hearing you talk about it and you can see it in their faces. That's when you shut down and go silent; then you're viewed as having an attitude problem. The campaign was very invigorating for me. It was my "exhale" moment. 

The fact of the matter is I'll never be free from depression. It'll always be a part of me, no matter what. It's not a "feeling" like I'm hungry or feel bummed out. It's a chemical imbalance, some worse than others, and I always have to pay attention to triggers that could start a spiral and take me down a dark tunnel. Spiraling is easy; digging my way out? Not so much, and there's no real way to avoid them. What I do is work on how to manage them and the triggers that set me off. It's not always possible, but I've become somewhat better about dealing with it. 

There is no shame in suffering from depression, and unfortunately the stigma of it makes others hide in the darkness. Many who feel no way out often end up suicides, and it takes the death of a famous person to make others even talk about it. I know how hard it is - trust that, but you have to reach out for help. Don't sit in the darkness alone. Please seek help. You can contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255 or their website http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

"All About Mood" is a great place to discuss online:

A great blog on depression, bipolar, and mental health from Dave Wise:

Dave Wise's Blog

I could go into this long, descriptive blog about how I felt or what I said, but then, it's easier to just show you. These are my tweets and some retweets, but I recommend you go to Twitter and open the hashtag and see some amazing tweets. 

This is My Life With Depression - Twitterverse Remix




















Until we meet again, CYA!

~me~

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting To Know Me, Getting to Know You: Explaining My Demonic World

The fallen angel is depicted throughout Christian theology as a being that rebelled against God and fell from grace. This term is particularly used to describe angels who fought in the War in Heaven alongside Lucifer, who became the Devil. They were cast out and thus became demons. In popular culture, they are depicted a supernatural beings of unimaginable horror, gore and degradation. Popular folklore also describes a demon as “an evil spirit or source and/or agents of evil, harm distress or ruin.” This is not the demons that I write about. My demons aren't evil; well, some of them are, but no more than mankind. It’s a personal choice with them when you think about it. In my world, demons are the manifestations of animal spirits in humanoid form. They have physical features that appear human and yet there are the small nuances that make what they really are very apparent. They could have long nails or claws, pointy elfin ears, fang-like teeth and perhaps markings similar to tatt
Read more

Being A Black Paranormal Demon Writer In A Color Struck World

Hello my lovelies!   Happy Saturday, January 19, 2013 to you!   Only 339 days until Christmas so get your shopping done early! There are some things you’re going to notice about me straight from the gate.   One, I’m black.   For real…glance over to the right…go on – it’s okay.   See that pretty Nubian Goddess?   That’s me…at 47 years old on Planet Earth and not a wrinkle on ole girl!   You know what they say – black don’t crack!   LOL!   Two, I’m a Paranormal Demon writer.   What exactly is that?   Well, I’ve had to define it because the genre really doesn’t exist.   You see, I’m a former fan fiction writer who wrote Sesshomaru/Kagome fan fiction in the Inuyasha Fan Fiction as an Alternate Universe writer.   Alternate Universe is taking the characters from a particular canon universe and altering them or the scenes.   In other words, in the Manga and Anime, Inuyasha and Kagome are married.   In my world, I’ve paired her with his brother Sesshomaru because I read a story
Read more

Reflections Of You - My Tribute to Mrs. Sabrina Leon Davis

Image
Heart-to-heart time, my Lovelies. When you were young, you were so carefree, you had no worries, and the future was for old farts like your parents. You did cartwheels, played freeze tag, played double dutch, ate junk food until you got sick, played hide & seek, and watched cartoons Saturday morning. In the 70’s, a dollar got you a bag of Doritos, a Pepsi, a Snickers, a SuzyQ, and the leftover was penny candy. The weekends were those magical days when you weren’t chained to a desk in Ms. Richardson’s class for the five days during the week that ruined your life. The summer was freedom from the bondage of education, and you celebrated by going to the pool, cruising the park, Skate King, Six Flags, or otherwise moped around complaining about there’s nothing to do and nothing to watch. You had to be careful about telling your parents you had nothing to do; they’d FIND you something to do!  Having a boyfriend meant that the little punk up the street bought you candy, and
Read more